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Enhancing Your Children's Self-Esteem
According to Websters' Dictionary, self-esteem means having a good opinion of oneself or to regard oneself with respect. Translated to a child it means, "I am loveable and capable."
Feeling loveable to a child means feeling acknowledged and valuable. Children equate how their parents spend their time to what is most important to the parent. Children's self worth can be impacted by how often their attention needs get met. Parents may not feel they have the energy to fully engage with their children. They are sometimes preoccupied with work stress, personal issues or busy schedules. Children often intuitively sense when their parents are physically present, but mentally absent. Then a child might try to gain their parent's attention in less than appropriate ways. No matter the age of your child, a small time investment of a genuine encounter can prove invaluable. They can stave off power struggles and future attempts at obtaining your attention in undesirable ways.
Think about the message your actions tell. Do you stop to focus on your child and what he or she is saying? Do you make eye contact and truly connect with them when they are telling you about something that excites them? Do you notice not only what they are saying but their non-verbal cues too?
Stop when you realize you are distracted as your child talks to you. Know that your sincere, focused attention on your child in that moment is vitally important. Be present with them. Notice them from your heart. It is a gift to their heart and self-esteem. Practice thinking, "They are loveable and capable." Look for ways this is true. Celebrate and encourage this within them.
In addition, the International Network for Children and Families recommends the following tips to increase your child's self-esteem:
- Set clear boundaries and follow through with them.
- Understand developmental stages, which include possibly annoying, but normal behaviors.
- Tell children what to do, not what to not do.
- Teach them to repair mistakes.
- Use encouragement instead of praise.
- Let your child be valuable to you.