Home
Coaching
Products
Testimonials
Blog
About
Affiliates
Contact

Creating Peace Among Siblings

Parents have an extraordinary opportunity to contribute to the harmony in their home by building cooperation and respect between siblings. Children whose parents honor and nurture their individual differences tend to feel less competitive toward other children. An important step on the path to peace is to deal with children's fights in a way that teaches them to resolve their differences in a peaceful manner.

Guide your child to take a step back and count to ten before acting. Teach your child to express their emotions clearly and calmly. Model this behavior.

Read books about sharing, caring and feelings. Teach empathy by talking about the characters in the book or practice role-playing with dolls or puppets. Ask questions such as "How do you think Charlie Brown is feeling?" and "If you were Snoopy, what could you say or do to Charlie to help him feel better?"

Notice and articulate to your children the times when they are sharing or are showing self-control toward each other. You may reflect their actions by saying to them: "Sally, you are giving your toy to Johnny. You are letting him play with the toy and taking turns. That's kindness!" Focus on any progress towards patience and respect, even if the instances seem minute.

In addition, the International Network for Children and Families (INCAF) recommends that you:

  • Model your own win-win negotiation skills.
  • Don't take sides.
  • Bring peace to the fight as soon as possible. For example, if two children are fighting over a toy, calmly kneel to be at their level and touch them gently. When they become calm, hold out your hand for the toy.
  • Remove the toy until they agree to cooperate with it.
  • Put children in the same boat. For example, say: "When the two of you have decided which book you want me to read, come back and get me."
  • Teach children to be responsible for creating a win/win solution. Ask "How could you both win and be happy?" Allow the children to brainstorm solutions.