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Cultivating Content Children This Summer

Freedom from school can mean a lack of daily structure for children. Some children flourish while others flounder with this arrangement. It doesn't take much time to proactively prepare for success and cultivate content children this summer. Children that are part of developing the game plan for the day, week and month tend to spend less time begging and cajoling their parents. They are reassured because they know what to expect and that their needs for fun and friends will be fulfilled.

Here's what you can do for kids that need more routine and predictability in their life:

  • Develop a schedule. Type or handwrite the schedule and post in a visible location. Include eating times, chores, friend time, TV or computer time and quiet time. Understand that special activities will need to be worked into the schedule and discussed up front. You can plan for outings on certain days of the week or during certain times of the day.
  • Give yourself permission to say no to the extra activities that seem to overwhelm you or your child. Children can sometimes be an antenna for the family and act out your tension.
  • Announce transitions up front before they happen. "In 5 minutes, we are going to be leaving . . ." or, for those children that haven't grasped the time concept, "After we have lunch we will be going to the grocery store."

As a parent, what you might lose in spontaneity is gained in improved behavior and cooperation of the child. Predictability breeds feelings of security. Some children need more predictability because it alleviates anxiety about surprises, allows children to feel powerful as they help make choices about how to spend their free time and helps keep their attitude in check. The schedule is a tool that can be used to teach balance, self-care and limits while adding to the efficiency and organization of the family. It shows the child how to prioritize and set goals, how to look at the bigger picture of family life, and how they fit into and contribute to the family.